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10/22/2003 at 05:56 PM GMT

"Journals, leaky toilets, and rice"

Well I have finally reached the end of my energy reserve, I am absolutely knackered. I realise it has been quite a while since my last entry, but I have just seemed to be so busy lately. Work seems to be accelerating up an exponential curve at the moment, and I am having to do one of the things I hate the most - write an academic journal paper - AAARRRGGGHHH! I really struggle to conform to the "how to write a journal paper" routine, if I have got something to tell people I want to say it in my way, not having to make reference to some other bored academic every five minutes, just to justify opening my mouth on the subject. It makes my blood boil, the days seem like years, and gives me a dreadful headache in the process.

Anyway its been over three weeks since my last entry, and shit loads has happened. We (the wife and I - like "the King and I" only more scary) went over to France (Britany to be exact) primarily on business for me, but we decided to have a little looksy around. Potentially looking for somewhere to live really, as we are both a bit tired of the UK, and want to start a more "bohemian" life, in more relaxed environs. Well the business side went OK, but things went shall we say "tits-up" from that point onwards. After leaving the company I was visiting we travelled into central Britanny to stay at a gite I had booked via the internet - the first of two nights we had planned to stay in the area. On arrival we were greated by a representative of the owner who was not available ( not a good start), who was immediately apologetic for the state of the accommodation, before we had even entered the building. Well to say we were shocked is an understatement. It was damp, dingy and basic, and to top it all off we were greeted with a cascading waterfall in the kitchen - a leak from the toilet upstairs. The owners representative assured us that everything would be ok, after they had fiddled with the loo for 15 minutes, and siad to call them if any further problems occured. As you could guess we were not best pleased, but after a full days driving we were shattered and just wanted to sleep, so we accepted the situation. We both had a bath, a bite to eat, and went straight to bed. An hour later we were woken by the sound of dripping water, and we rushed down the stairs to find the kitchen awash with loo water, and the ceiling bowing. AARRGGHH. After about half an hour of fiddling with the loo the water flow was stopped, so we returned to bed to get some rest - ten minutes later it starts again......
A call was made to the owner who was conveniently not there, so a message was left for them to contact us. Suffice to say we were shit scared to use the loo, so we spent an unpleasent night of listening to the toilet empty itself into the kitchen, and having to empty ourselves (wee wee I might add) into the shower cubicle.

The next morning I unleashed the wife on the owner - not a pretty sight, they will be picking up body parts for years to come, but we did get our money back and bid a hasty retreat. I won't bore you with any more juicy detaisl other than if you go to Britanny in October for a break, you are going to struggle big time to find decent accommodation. After our "aqua" night we walked out on two hotels a day on average to find a decent bed for the night.

To summarise - we won't be considering lving in Britanny for a number of reasons - during the winter months you'll see more action in a stale cheese sandwich, and get a warmer welcome in a refrigerator. We all look at these TV programmes thinking "Oh wouldn't it be wonderful to live in France", as they paint a wonderfull picture of French life, but be warned its not as rosy as it seems, and most of the property certainly doesn't come anywhere near the standard most of us expect.

But hey enough moaning, its nearly time for dinner - hmmm, rice again I think........ ? Yep rice, unfortuantely self enforced as the wife has been put an exclusion diet for her irratable bowel syndrome for the next few weeks. Basically that means, wheat free, dairy free, yeast free, corn free, oat free, and taste free diet for her. To make life simpler I just eat what she does, but after three days I already feel like ripping out the intestines of the next doctor I see. So perhaps thats one of the reasons I am so tired, that and the fact that I am trying to do a million and one things.

Anyway, I promise I will update my galleries this week with at least two images, and from the end of the month there will be weekly updates. also I am hoping to have some cartoon artwork up shortly - just something else I am trying - lol - will I never learn?

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